Neon Genesis Pony: Equestria Girls 2.5: Rainbow Robots

I never thought it would come to this

I never thought it would come to this

I’m a busy man these days.

Thus, to tide you over until the next update of substance, I have decided to start scraping the barrel.

Here is a rather silly idea I jotted down a couple of days before New Years and quickly forgot about.

You’re welcome.

IN THE YEAR 2015……

“Due to the current state of emergency, all phone lines are temporarily out of service,” the recording cheerfully intoned. Shinji hung up the phone, exasperated.

It was a beautiful day in Tokyo-3. Only a few clouds dotted the blue sky, and the heat of the sun was complemented by a refreshing breeze. It would be perfect, except that the city was completely deserted, and nothing worked. The train he had taken into town was long departed, he couldn’t get a signal on his cell phone, and the city transit appeared to be suspended.

Shinji was supposed to be meeting Misato Katsuragi, a woman who worked for his father. He produced the photo of herself she had mailed to him last week. She looked like a twentysomething with purplish hair tied back in a ponytail. Her clothes consisted of a white sleeveless top and ridiculously short cutoff jeans. She was leaning forward to accentuate her cleavage and even had drawn an arrow pointing towards it. What sort of woman was this, Shinji thought, who was trying to impress a teenage boy like that? Didn’t she have any self respect?

He noticed something in the corner of his eye. Looking up, he saw a girl standing down the street with a small dog. Relieved at having found another living soul in the city, Shinji almost bounded towards her.

She was a very odd looking girl. Her skin had a purple tint to it, and her hair was also very violet, with pink highlights. She was wearing a light blue blouse with a pink bow and a purple miniskirt where a large pink star had been embroidered (Shinji was noticing a certain theme). The dog, which looked like no breed he had ever seen, also had purple fur, with a green tuft of hair protruding from its head.

“Hey,” Shinji said when he approached the girl. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could give me a hand?”

“Oh, sure!” the girl said, blushing a little.

“Great!” Shinji said, “You see, I just got into town, and I’m supposed to be meeting someone here. But no one’s around, and the phones don’t work either. So I was wondering if you knew what was going on.”

“Well,” the girl began, exchanging a glance with her dog, “I hate to say it but…I just got here too! So I have no idea what’s going on! It isn’t normal for this place to be so empty?”

“No,” Shinji said, feeling even more confused.

The girl started to say something, but was cut off by a loud crash, followed by a violent tremor that knocked the two of them off their feet. The dog let out an almost human-sounding yelp.

“What in Celestia’s name was that?” the girl said.

Something peeked above the skyscrapers in the distance. It looked a bit like the face of one of those drinking birds you would buy in a gift shop. As it moved, it came more into view, revealing that the face was affixed to a gigantic, hunched, humanoid form. It was dark green with a massive torso and thin, almost spidery limbs. In the middle of its chest was a large red orb. Shinji, the girl and the dog stared at it, transfixed with horror.

Just as suddenly as the monster had appeared, jets and helicopters swarmed in around it, unloading their rather explosive payloads into its face. The monster snatched a jet with its left arm. A beam of light shot out from its hand, incinerating the jet and several other units nearby.

Another one tried to flank it, but it quickly swung its leg up, knocking the jet out of the air – and in front of the three onlookers. The collision jolted them a few inches into the air.

But before they had a chance to recover from the shock, the monster jumped, and its foot came down and crushed the remains of the aircraft. I’m gonna get killed, Shinji thought, bracing himself for what now seemed to be inevitable.

But before he had a chance to come to grips with that, a car quickly backed beside him, and one of its doors flung open. There, with sunglasses covering her face, was the woman in the photo. “Sorry I’m late!” Misato said, “Get in the car!”

Shinji climbed into the front while the girl and her dog scrambled into the back. Before they had a chance to get properly seated, Misato spun the car around and sped off.

“Whew! That was close!” Misato said, as if she had only survived a particularly sharp turn.

“I think I pulled a muscle,” Shinji whined.

“Well, tough luck, kid,” Misato said. She glanced in the rear view mirror. “You’ve gotta be Shinji, but who’s the girl?”

“My name’s Twilight Sparkle,” the girl said.

“Twilight Sparkle?” Misato said, “That’s a weird name. You from America?”

“No, but I’ve visited a couple of times.”

“…anyway, I’m Misato Katsuragi, but you guys can call me Misato, all right?”

“And I’m Spike!” said a voice which sounded a bit like a young boy. Twilight gasped.

“Wh, where’d that come from?” Misato asked.

“Me! I’m Spike!” It was the dog.

“Spike!” Twilight said. “Shut up! You’re not supposed to talk here!”

“Oh come on, Twilight!” Spike said, “There’s already a giant monster rampaging around. I think these people can handle a talking dog.”

“Actually,” Misato said, “my brain cannot process what just happened in this car right now. But I’ve got bigger fish to fry at the moment, so I’ll put the mental breakdown on hold until later.”

“Hey,” Shinji said, “just what is that thing anyway?”

“We’ll cover that later,” Misato said flatly. “For the time being, let’s just drive to safety.”

The four of them drove on in silence for five minutes until the car reached a highway. Misato pulled over onto the emergency lane, produced a pair of binoculars,and uncomfortably leaned over him, peering out his window. “At least they’re leading it out of town,” she mumbled.


About Josh W

Scribbler and doodler
This entry was posted in Our Allies in Nippon, pop culture and its discontents and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Neon Genesis Pony: Equestria Girls 2.5: Rainbow Robots

  1. A funny short story. The best line has to be: “That’s a weird name. You from America?” xD

  2. Pingback: Start of darkness | Res Studiorum et Ludorum

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