Regular readers of this blog (if such a species exists) will likely notice that I have a tendency to talk around my faith, taking aim more at the various social/philosophical things I like to react against. Part of this is just that it is easier and often more fun to attack and prod than it is to make a case for the things that you cherish.
Part is also that I’m so in the middle of it – that it’s so intensely personal – that it’s easy for my writing on it to dissolve into mush. When I finally enrolled in RCIA classes, what had hitherto been a very, very private aspect of my life, my religious struggles, started to become rather public.
For most of my life, I’ve been the sort of person who is not terribly trusting of others with my thoughts and feelings. While this has no doubt spared me from harm in many ways, it’s also harmed my relationships. Anyhow, it was largely for this reason that I kept my religious freakouts to myself. But they were there.
I mentioned in my Atheism post the paradox of the rationality/insanity of the world. This is difficult to talk about because realizing it is a sort of mysticism. And this unfocused post is going to have to be cut short, to be resumed in the near future, as it is late and I am getting too tired for this stuff.